It’s been such a long time since I last wrote.  This is what has been happening between us. We are still together. There’s been lots of ups and downs. He continued being distant but would still text or call from time to time. Couple months later something terrible happened to him and his family. I was very supportive and didn’t complain about anything. Gave him few months to recover. But then found out that someone else has been consoling him, his old good and nice friend. That broke my heart again. In a mean time I was already on antidepressants,which did nothing for me. I saw them together, and kept hearing about them two. That’s when I decided to tell him that I can’t take it anymore, it was ruining me completely. His answer was that he doesn’t want to hurt me and he feels bad seeing me suffering. But still denying that he’s with her. And that he really hopes that life will bring us together again when we are both in better place. That’s when we ended it finally. For the first week i felt relief but it hit me later. So bad, that I wanted to die. He reached out a month later and I couldn’t be happier. We started talking but he would still get mad when I mention his “friend”. so I promised him that I won’t ask about her again. At that point I just wanted him back in my life so he was. It’s funny how low one woman would go for a man. After that he was going back to where we were at the beginning. So nice and loving. The thing is that he broke my heart so many times and each time left a scar. After that I was less sensitive, not responding his texts straightaway like I used to, when he asked to meet I wouldn’t, even though I could, just didn’t feel like it. So many disappointments made me care less. But the truth is that I still do have feelings for him but it’s not even close to how strong my feelings used to be. I feel like he isn’t close to his “friend” as he used to be but I know that she’s still in his life. At the moment I am not ready to end things yet, just waiting for the right time . The good thing is that I don’t wait for him to call me every minute like I used to as I am busy looking after myself. Now he is the one getting upset if I don’t answer. The fact is that all of disappointments trough out our relationship has nearly killed my love for him. I let him ruin my confidence, happiness and desire to live. Not worth it. Still have some feelings for him but those Feelings are slowly fading,and I am much happier person now. Time is everithing. Still not looking for someone else, just not interested.    ... View more

@Clawde  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I am going to read it over and over until I finally realise that. It’s that I know that you are right, but stupid heart won’t listen. Why does it have to hurt so much. I saw my therapist today and she is so nice, very supportive but I don’t feel any better yet. I am dying on the inside. How can he be so cold after everything we had together. How little I mean to him. I didn’t hear from him at all. And I am not going to text him,no more. I thought that this type of love and heartbreak exists only in movies and now it is my reality. I am so tired of it.  ... View more

Good morning, hope everyone is doing good. I am feeling a bit down. Today I am seeing psychologist so I hope the therapy will help me heal faster and get better. He’s gone distant again, just as I thought he would. And it hurts so much, I can’t help it. I can tell that it’s over. ... View more

@Clawde  Thank you. I can’t wait for that day to come. I am tired of feeling miserable. And yes, we will message, and I will be telling you about the new life and new person that will bring me happiness.  And also I want to mention that I am here to support anyone too, with any issues, i am a good listener, i love helping people and I always did In any way I can. So count on me anytime xx ... View more

@Clawde  Now that you mentioned my writing I would like to apologise for mistakes in my grammar. English is my second language, i been living in Australia for six years now, and I spoke zero English when I first came here. ... View more

@Clawde  Hehe you just put a big smile on my face. Thank you so much for that I said to myself it’s his loss not mine, but silly heart still hurts. ... View more

@Clawde  When I first met him, I felt this huge chemistry, and every time I would see him I would start shaking. I had boyfriends before but never felt this way with any of them. Then we started dating. The first year of us being together was the most amazing year of my life, I was in haven. And him too. He said that he never loved like that before, that he usually can control his feelings but not with me. He did love me, I felt it. But then something happened and he slowly changed. He became more distant. And I asked him why, he said it’s work. I didn’t like it but I accepted it. We would still share beautiful moments just not as much as before. Then, about 2 months ago, I saw this lady, his neighbour and she told me that he is seeing someone else. This was in shopping centre. I was in shock. Felt paralysed. And off course I asked him if it’s true, he said no, they are just friends. But he didn’t tell me about his friendship with her because I am sensitive and he didn’t want me to hurt. He said he never had anything more with her, just friendship. I asked him please just be honest, doesn’t matter if it hurts as long as you are honest with me. He still denied. I asked him if he likes her, he said, well she is nice. Everything has changed after that. I knew that he wasn’t honest. My heart was in pieces, I never felt such a pain before. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. It was keeling me. Just a thought of them 2 together. But I played strong with him and every one else, I didn’t even cry. I was saying to myself, you deserve happiness and why would you torture yourself, he is with her having a good time while you suffering. So I played so strong even with myself, when in reality I was broken inside. I kept going like that for 2 weeks. Then I couldn’t anymore. I thought he would change for better now that I know things, but no, he was still distant. And I just couldn’t take it anymore. The heaven I was once in turned into hell. And I was broken in and out. Crying for 2 days straight, thought that I wouldn’t survive the pain. I wasn’t even trying to be strong. I lost hips of weight, couldn’t eat at all. Didn’t want to talk to anyone or to go anywhere. I wasn’t living I was just existing. But he had no idea what I was going trough. We would still talk like nothing happened and I smiled when I was dying inside. I just didn’t want to bother him. My family was so concerned about me, I couldn’t pretend anymore. I became depressed and I still am. I heard once that if you didn’t love then you didn’t hurt. And that’s so true. I have so many guys that would give the stars if I gave them just a bit of attention. But no, none of them is him, and he is so unique. He is the one. I feel a bit better now but far from good. I am trying to accept that it’s over. And when I left my previous boyfriend they felt the same way I feel now, so this is my karma now. But at least I was honest with both of them and didn’t want to give them false hope. At this moment I feel so numb, and I know that it will take long time for me to go back to my old self and that’s what scares me. I know that soonest I tell him goodbye the sooner it will pass, but I just can’t do that. Just a thought of not ever seeing him again or hearing from him again is killing me. But I also know that the day will come, so I am trying to be emotionally ready when it happens. Last night he wrote such a nice massage to me, and my reply was very plain. As much as I want him, I don’t want it if it’s not real. And that’s the problem I don’t know what’s the truth. What if I am wrong. But like I said my intuition is telling me that it’s not right. I guess the time will show me the way I should take. For now I need to pick up myself and detach. It’s hard but I must. Being here and talking to you guys is one step forward. I can feel the support and I can’t thank you enough. ... View more

Hi @Eve7  Thank you so much to you and everyone else. You all are great support and it means a lot. Especially now when I am feeling down. Thank you ... View more

Btw my man was texting me today few times, just simple. “Good morning beautiful” so much rain today”… Sometimes I feel like he keeps in touch just enough so we can meet when he needs me.  I still get butterflies when he messages me and just when I decide to try and move on he comes back. Yesterday I have booked an appointment with psychologist, because I know that he will get distant again and I can’t keep going like that. Been feeling so down the last couple of months. ... View more

@Bunniekins Oh okay  ... View more

@Bunniekins  Who is Tab? Sorry I am new here xx ... View more

@Clawde Honestly now that I think about what I would say to a friend, it would be to love her self more then him and to respect herself and to say goodbye to all the crap he is giving to her. One day he’ll be sorry. There is a limit to everything and there’s so much I can handle. ... View more

@Bunniekins So true  ... View more

@Clawde  Thank you for your kind words it means a lot. My intuition is telling me that this is not right, but my heart still hopes that he is honest. If he is seeing someone else then it all makes sense. His behaviour. He used to be so lovely at the beginning but after a year he started changing. I can’t be just friends with him after everything we’ve done together. I just wish he would talk to me honestly so I know where we are at and I can finally get a closure so I can move on, it would be painful but what’s the difference. I am hurting so bad anyway. ... View more

Ok, so I messaged him saying “everything ok?” because I haven’t heard from him, and today is his day of and I know that he is not busy. He said “ Hi how are” I was waiting for you to text me and you did haha” thank you for thinking of me” I really don’t understand, is he just playing with me? I don’t recognise him anymore. What does he mean? I am so confused. Should I just never text if I don’t hear from him again? What should I do?  I am really sorry for bothering you guys but I am so desperate. I don’t know where I stand with him. When I ask him, he says that he misses me and loves me. And now he is talking to me like I am a stranger. And I really tried everything to make him happy, never bothered him, being there for him when he needed me, gave him all my love. I guess that was a mistake. But what should I do next? ... View more

@Former-Member  Sorry I forgot to tag you in my previous post. But thank you so much for the support ... View more

Thank you. I do have family and friends that are very supportive, and I also like to go for a walk every morning. Feeling heartbroken is the worse experience I had. I recently heard that he is seeing someone else, my heart was in pieces, but he denied. I tried to talk to him but he is so hard to communicate with. I didn’t judge I just wanted the truth. We’ve been together for 3 years and I deserve more than what he offers. He is very nice to me when he sees me and very passionate, but once we are back to our work and our lives, he gets so distant, so cold, hardly reaches out, and when he does it is usually good morning or how are you. Sometimes I wish I never met him. I am an happy, positive, bubbly person, but my personality has been changing because of him. Now I am mostly sad, in pain, very quiet not feeling like going out or do anything for myself. Hopefully one day this will pass and I will be back to my old self. ... View more

Thank you so much for your reply. I do really appreciate it. I am sort of lost. Don’t know what to think. I just know that I am tired of feeling this pain. I tried to just let go and focus on myself, but it’s so bloody hard, I can’t keep him out of my mind. ... View more