Trying makes it worse

[TAB]

just do what you can @EternalFlower  does having a doctor really help you ? what do they do, besides say they do not want to see you anymore ?.

[Appleblossom]

I ask myself the same question @TAB zie sed ... what do they do ...  @EternalFlower 

I was told in outpatient care after my first ED event to be proactive. I talked to various people and studied various things.  I ended up having between 2-12 mental health sessions most years of my adult life. Going in with an informed mind is so helpful.  I do not know exactly what happened for you, but it usually hurts when things go pear shaped with friends or health providers.  They should not be such an important, almost intimate part of life, but for some us they are.  Better than nothing, but healing comes when we believe we are worth ... something.

Glad you are managing it. Tbh ... taking a 'managing it' approach can be really helpful and not taking it all personally. He must not be the best fit for you atm.

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom @TAB 

my friend thinks it wasn’t what I said but just he had more of this gust of wind and came to realisation that he can’t help me

it was a blow up and it hurt still because I don’t have much support in my life and some of it wasn’t my fault I was just very very low 

sucks to feel like things can’t sort of change 

[EternalFlower]

Thanks for holding space @Appleblossom @and for the empathy.

i knew I was a bit attached to him and my friends think it’s good I needed to move on but I just am vulnerable now and hate the way it happened

i think he wanted to help and then I became too much and this is hard for me

[TAB]

Sorry, I am no use @EternalFlower  out of my experience re hospital for MH etc 

went  to medical/physical for job this afternoon , nearly stroked out lol they told me to go to Emergency I said am over 100ks from home, dont even know where hosp is , am going home lol . So if I wake up tomorrow will go to closer emergency in the morning

[tyme]

Oh @EternalFlower ,

I am reading on. I'm sorry things turned out this way.

I hope you get the support you need right now.

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom @I don’t think he is the right one for now and I feel a bit better 

the hospital were bullying me once he discharged me and they made such a fuss trying to kick me out, I am not pleased with how they handled me at my worst and it felt quite cruel

day by day gently and slowly

[tonys]

Hello @EternalFlower Left your letter for last because as you already know. .  Your the person I worry for most. Wading through a lake of your posts. I feel your despair so acutely, my tears cry their own tears. . and all I can offer is my heart for a pillow. Being a little unsound myself I have avoided my duties to you as a friend for fear of a total derailment.      But I do read your words,  pray my hardest to anyone who'll listen and bleed for you my dear Eternal.      Please . .  never give up. you are to much a part of all of us.     My mind will return one of these days and I will return to your home with competence and caring.                                                                             tonys    moon base 1

Sleep   Flowers. .         sleep.

[EternalFlower]

Hi all @tonys @@I really understand and don’t feel bad I am proud you stepped back to heal and care for you and thank you for coming here and being so kind when you felt able

i missed you

hi @tyme @lbut of a disaster after four years and was maybe testing him which I acknowledge and sent in an email apologising

sad and hard 

thanks @Appleblossom @for so helpful and caring g 

[EternalFlower]

Thanks @TAB @why are u off to emergency that is scary and I hope it ok and can get the job