Sometimes it is better getting things out @EternalFlower
I l suppressed a lot for a long time. It has been a change for me to lose my filter, and speak my mind plainly…. Instead of being fearful, shamed or people pleasing. Maybe there is a time and a place, but I am being more social than ever in my life. Honestly I still feel allergic to crowded rooms, and sneeze a lot. I think it’s a way of discharging bodily distress. But I am staying strong, and things are turning around for me. Finding a community. Do you have any people in your life, at all? For a while I only had formal supports, but in the last 2 years, slowly I have had better connections, slowly evolving. Eg it’s easier to make friends, laughing about a party, than talking about the psych ward…but I also don’t want to deny intense personal experiences.
I am sorry you got a clinician who could not connect with you. I have had my hopes dashed like that a lot. they should be more committed to ensuring their clients needs are served by referring on, if necessary. I have had some doozies.
Maybe you will find better connections in the arts community. keep fighting for you.
I don’t expect much of my shrink, but I know I need to keep him on board.
