Lived Experience Forum

[LonePhoenix]

I had to make the decision to leave my therapist, and I feel inconsolable. I can't stop crying. It feels so painful. How do I deal with this?

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @LonePhoenix,

I can hear how distressed you are. It is definitely challenging when a therapeutic relationship ends.

Was this a planned endpoint, or was it sudden?

[enricofatale]

I'm sorry @LonePhoenix that sounds rough.

I have been through that process too and found the transition process challenging.

Have you got some leads for finding a replacement?

[defaultusername]

Hi @LonePhoenix,

I'm sorry that you're going through such a difficult time — it sounds like you must've had a good relationship with them and that you didn't necessarily want to end it, but you had to? That must have been a hard decision to make.

We all hope that you can find some support here with all of us while you're going through this.


Take care,

defaultusername

[ArraDreaming]

Hi @LonePhoenix ending a therapeutic relationship especially one you had a rapport with is really difficult, it’s hard to let go knowing you have opened yourself up so much person, I understand.

Do you mind sharing the context around why you made the decision? If not it’s ok. I think whether the ball was in your court or there’s it’s a huge challenge…

Do you have another teed up or would you like some direction around where else you could go?

[tyme]

Hey @LonePhoenix ,

It sounds like you are not alone in feeling this way.

I have certainly experienced the grief of losing a therapist. It was not my choice, but it was simply a discharge that had to happen. Actually, it's a few discharges. They hurt. 

There were a lot of tears leading up to the discharges. There was anger, hurt, the feeling of rejection, loss of identity and self-worth. 

I'm hearing how painful things are for you right now. Please take care.

[tyme]

Hey there @LonePhoenix ,

How are you going? 

I haven't seen you in a while so I wanted to check in.

[LonePhoenix]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It helps to know I'm not the only one who's felt like this. 

I've been quite sick the past several days – not sure if perhaps the stress of the past week weakened my immune system. 

It was a situation where I felt like I had to move on, even though I didn't necessarily want to. It felt like my therapist's modality wasn't working for me. I wasn't always getting the support I needed either. I think my case was too complex and too much for them. 

They made a throwaway comment once that one of my alters was into conspiracies, which was hurtful, since that alter holds trauma. And when I brought it up, I felt like I had to drop it even though I was still upset. And that I was making a big deal out of something minor 

But the main thing was that the therapist told me they thought I have schizophrenia. It caused me to have a bit of a meltdown. I believe the thoughts I was having that my therapist was interpreting as schizophrenia is actually linked to my DID and trauma. But it felt like they really couldn't handle my trauma or didn't want to hear it. 

It was also difficult at times, my therapist was still in recovery too, so they weren't always 100% reliable. Plus they were going to cut down on their sessions soon, and it wasn't a good time for me to be cutting down on therapy. So in the end, I decided I was better off moving on. 

I'm currently in contact with someone who still has spots available, I'm just waiting to see if we can work out a time that fits my schedule. 

I hope this all wasn't too much information. I'm not really sure. 

[defaultusername]

Not a problem at all @LonePhoenix,

Just a quick tip for replying on the forums — if you want other people to be notified of your response, just type an @ symbol and the username/s of the person or people you're replying to so we get a notification and can respond sooner.

I'm sorry to hear that you've not been feeling well, stress can definitely have that effect on us and our immune systems.

It sounds like you made the right decision then, given how difficult it must have been, that's very mature of you to be able to do that…

That's unfair that they brought these feelings up for you, hopefully this new therapist you're in contact with is more suited to meet your needs.

And please don't worry it wasn't to much information at all, thank you for sharing with us.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

I hope you feel better today,

defaultusername

[tyme]

Hey @LonePhoenix ,

How are you doing? Have been thinking of you.

tyme