Hi
@anth0888Job seeking is never easy and we often find ourselves swimming amongst despair, hopelessness, helplessness, self criticism and comparisons. I know this all too well because I've changed jobs 5 times since 2011. I've just recently been accepted into another role and will soon commence work again, but this was after 9 months of unemployment. In this time I spent two weeks in a psychiatric ward, was refused financial assistance from the government, became reliant on substance use to get by, and saw countless rejections before and after interviews from prospective employers. It was a terrible time in my life. But it wasn't all doom and gloom.
How I dragged myself out of the gutter was attributable to several things:
- My partner. She was there through all my breakdowns and was forever supportive and uplifting
- I started doing DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) and my individual therapist as well as my group therapy sessions were pivotal to me maintaining a better mental state. It was a slow progression to improvement but it was what kept me accountable and what got me by
- I started seeing a job provider and my job provider case manager was so wonderful and encouraging and supportive. I didn't come to see her to help me look for work. I was able to do that on my own. I came to see her to just chat. She made me feel better just by being her bubbly optimistic encouraging self.
- I got off drugs and alcohol. This was also paired with exercise (strength training) and starting the Atkins diet. Doing all this really lifted my spirits and made me feel confident again. I lost 5kgs within two or so months and hope to continue to lose weight till I get back to my ideal weight (put on 20kgs with my change of antidepressants). Tending to a healthier me (in a physical sense) helped me feel a sense of control , something that I didn't feel with job seeking, and provided a good distraction to job seeking, which was my 'full time job'
- I changed antidepressants. Although it made me put on alot of weight, it was also what saved me from myself and enabled me to feel ready once to get back into work
- Friends. I was ashamed to see friends at first because once again I was unemployed, and ontop of that, really let myself go by gaining all that weight. But they never judged me and was only there to provide a lending ear. They also helped me get my current job by being personal references
- Determination. Despite all the rejections from several propestive employers, I never gave up. Sure I had really bad days where some rejections would see me breakdown more heavily then other days, but I self talked myself into believing that I am worthy and that i would make a great employee. Those that rejected me just lost someone worth having. Now don't get me wrong I am no narcisist. Quite the opposite actually. But I had to 'fake it till I made it's. Sometimes we have to be our own cheerleaders. We spend too much time being our own worst enemies
These are all ways I managed to cope during my most recent time being unemployed.
Other suggestions I could offer include volunteer work, and taking time to do things you love as a reward for working hard to find work. This includes hobbies or self soothing activities like adventures in nature, having warm baths, listening to your fav music etc. This would have helped me more but sometimes I get so fixated on a goal that I don't stop and remember to take care of myself in the process.
Sorry this was a rather long post. Your post really stuck out and grabbed me because I can relate so well. I hope I have helped in one way or another. Best wishes on the job hunt. You will find that job and know that there will be hard days but you must never lose sight that you are worthy and some employer out there will see that and grasp you with both hands. You got this! Keep your chin up
🙂Blessings,
leighyu
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