@Re: i Re: @Re: Trying makes it worse

[hanami]

Hi @EternalFlower that all sounds awful. I'm so sorry for you. What will happen now? Will you stay in hospital?

Sending hugs to you

Hanami

[Appleblossom]

Dear @EternalFlower I had been thinking of you.

Sorry you are in hospital.  From what I have seen it can be an invasive place to be, even if the intentions of staff are good. Your understanding of your triggers makes sense to me.  I have been quietly working on my triggers and have a sense of what is going on with trauma for me.  Once the trigger gets to a certain level and if you are not feeling safe ... it is not a matter of MISBEHAVING ... silly pdoc.  

I guess you are going through a grief process with him tho.... lots of mixed up emotions about the good the bad and the ugly.

Not sure exactly what prompted him to put you in hospital during the move.  ??? How much of the move did you make?  Is your stuff in the new place?

Best thing is manage as best you can til you get out and maybe your team will improve.  Learning the parts of yourself to trust is important.  I am doing work on intuition at the moment.

Gently Bently

[EternalFlower]

Hi @hanami @Appleblossom @TAB 

I moved pretty much everything but organising from hopsital really stressed me out, I needed people to pick me up for leave to get home and it didn't work out and I got upset

That combined with rough and tactile nurses really made me distressed.

He made a plan with me about which days I would leave etc . It went ok for a bit until I fell apart.

[TAB]

I hope things work out for you @EternalFlower 

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower Maybe the plan for return home will remain. 

At least some of it is organised.  Would you like to tell me about your new place?

[EternalFlower]

Hi there @TAB @Appleblossom @hanami @fluffylight @tyme @tonys 

I think also as I have according to the dr , a personality disorder , it is hard to live with that I blew up the relationship and if not for my actions I'd still be seeing him

I actually sent him an email which said I am terminating him as a doctor

I was in a bad headspace and didn't mean it but he said I was very clear and he now feels he can't help me

He didn't even hand over my care of give me a few days I was terminated on the spot

I left the hospital but my headpsace is very bad as I felt abandoned 

[TAB]

Well I hope you are safe @EternalFlower  

[EternalFlower]

Thanks @TAB @Appleblossom @fluffylight 

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower 

Gradually settle into your new place. Give yourself as much time as it takes.  Eventually get around to rehiring your health care team.  Let him go. Focus on the now and building up supports and interests and viability in the new place.  

I moved a lot when I was young, but today I had the thought, they will have to carry me out in a coff ... you know the saying ... nothing suicidal about it tho, as just before that, I said to myself, I feel "I am here for the duration."  Just burbling along chattily.  Take Care Bella.

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom @TAB @hanami

I am trying to let it go and find a new team, slowly slowly

Moving is quite tough and draining 

I am happy in the new place 

I am still sad about the loss of the dr but I am ok in the moment

I wasn't expecting it we had a blow up and it was hard