Lived Experience Forum

[Kiki16]

Hello Everyone,

I need a bit of a vent. So I have an anxiety disorder which correlates with depression. When routine change’s I struggle when someone else change’s the plan, when I change it I don’t mind but I feel alot of guilt for letting other’s down wether it be a birthday etc. I am over constantly putting myself out of my comfort zone to be in social environments, it’s something I have struggled with since I can remember! So it is systematically apart of who I am. Would you acknowledge you don’t like or enjoy big social groups and they just are ‘t for you or would you continually push for the purpose of other’s? I find it soo draining pushing myself all the time, it then leads to depression or me going extremely inward.

[RiverSeal]

hey @Kiki16, thanks for posting and sharing your thoughts with the Forums community!

It sounds tough for you to socialise when it's outside your comfort zone or when plans change. I think that's valid as it is annoying when plans change, and we were prepared for something and then it's either not on or something different. Doing things outside your comfort zone is challenging too and hard to feel relaxed and enjoy the event.

How do you usually cope with these situations or what have you tried in the past?

Take care

RiverSeal 

[HelloKitty1981]

Hi @Kiki16 

I once also felt the pressure to put myself out their in social situations to try to deal with my anxiety and depression issues. Talking to a counsellor actually helped me a lot, and gave me some help strategies to take small achievable goals, sometimes I took a few steps forward, then perhaps a few steps back in my goals, but it gave me the tools to learn that every step you take is a positive to achieving your goals.

I also think breaking things down into smaller steps that won't overwhelm you as much and you may find you start to handle situations more and actually start to enjoy events.

It is also ok to feel a variety of different things in various situations and your feelings are valid. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in smaller achievable chunks, really does add up overtime. 

Slow but steady progress is better than forcing yourself to do things that clearly only add to your feelings and emotions.

I am someone who likes my routine and I do get annoyed when things change at times outside my control but as I have gotten older I have learnt to be more flexible as much as I can be. However,  I also accept that people have their own limitations and you also need to recognise this as does friends and family. 

I kept a diary and wrote down my goals that I wanted to achieve and set a date to work to them by, I did this with a counsellor help and had regular catch ups fortnightly at first so we could work on issues together and come to solutions if I felt stuck at times. I also worked on what my feelings were in different situations, what strategies I could use to help overcome obstacles. 

SANE has a range of supports available on the forum under the headings of Get Support and Information & Resources, you can check out. 

Hope this helps

🤗